From angst to hohoho~

Stories are scary. Because they infulence me very very very easily. And I suppose this makes me a very easily infulenced person. ._.

Being easily infulenced is not good is it? O.O What if I get infulenced by the wrong crowd? O.O AHHHHHHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Ok. I was just randomly trying to make the post more interesting by being a little angsty. Since Sherry's blog has been a little angsty. So I believe that I need to be more angsty.

Now, a topic that would be a little angsty.

I still don't feel the fear of mid years. Even though it is very very close. I still don't feel nervous about it even though I have been flunking my tests left right centre. I still don't worry about my results even though they seriously suck.

I need a person to bash me.

I need a person to scold me and tell me how I'm going to die.

I need a person to pull me by my ear and give me a good telling to, so that I will wake up from my... eh... non-worriedness.

Wait. Isn't this weird? To be worried about me not worrying. ._.

But still. I really really need to be more worried.

I wonder why I'm not worried.

Actually, I know why I'm not worried, but I'm not sure whether it's the truth of why I'm not worrying or if it's just some excuse I've came up with to assure myself that I know why I'm not worried. Because if I have an excuse it would make thigns much more easier to explain and easier to overcome. As opposed to, if I have no idea to why I'm not worried when I should be worried. But if it's really just an excuse to assure myself that I know why I'm not worried, so as to tell myself that I can easily solve that problem of me not being worried, then what is the true reason to why I'm not worried, when I really really should?

Allow me to pause here and wonder how many people actually understands what I had just typed.

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Well, I believe that this all boils down to me reading too much stories. When I say stories, I don't mean just novels and books. I mean manga, animes and dramas too. They are all stories. And I love a good plot and character. I don't mind if it's in japanese, chinese, korean or another other language. As long as it's a good story, and I can understand it. I like it.

Now coming back to topic. I say that the above chunk boils down to me reading to much stories because, stories have many twists. What is shown might not be what they seem. What the author tell you might not be the full story. So, in a sort of sense, me not being worried when I should be worried is sort of like a mystery. The reasons I give myself might not be the true reason. Perhaps I am unconciously trying to make myself feel better, so I came up with the reason. And the reason why I doubt that it might not be the true reason? That's because I came up with the reason before thinking. "Eh. I think might be like this. It is very possible that this is the reason why I do this." Coming up with a reason before agreeing that it's this reason doesn't seem like a reason that is very true. Perhaps it have some sort of infulence. But ultimately, I highly doubt that it would be the real reason.

So, it believe that it would be better for me to stop thining about it in deep detail. Perhaps someday. Someday. I would be able to unravel the truth behind it. But for now, I think that it would be better to do some mindless studying. Well, I don't really mean mindless. It's more of I-shall-study-for-the-sake-of-studying-and-because-everyone-is-doing-so-and-because-I-feel-happy-doing-nice-notes-and-being-able-to-understand-and-spit-out-answers-to-questions sort of feeling.

To summerise, I shall climb back to my cloud and float while hohohoing and being hardworking. because it makes me and the people around me happy. :D

Hohoho~